La Mia Vita


Thursday, June 29, 2006

i remember when dani used to say that getting her nails done was a necessity and it made her feel more like a girl. well i did mine today, and i can't stop looking at them. it really does make you feel more proper in some way.

i made myself a nice caipirinha and i'm drinking it out of this cup i bought especially for them because it's green and short and looks like the perfect caipirinha cup. i wanted to go to terror thursday with emily and kami, but i also want to wake up early and go swim some laps so i decided i'm go to sleep early tonight. not that i go to bed late ever, but still. tommorow ash is coming to town to hang out and i'm beyond excited! i have an interview to do in the afternoon, then i close at Gap — which should be fun — then i get to hang out with ash and whoever else.

i can't believe it's already july and my summer's half over. it's driving me crazy, but i suppose that's what happens when your busy.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

i'm exhausted but i can't fall asleep. so i watched Letterman/Leno, then Bobby Flay's Food Nation and now Alton Brown is discussing tomatoes. i made dinner from scratch, and now i'm debating having some sorbet. are sorbet and sherbert the same thing? am i spelling those right, because they look funny.
i've felt nauseous all day...i don't know if it's still my bc, or everything that's on my mind. i'm emotionally drained...not to mention scared. i feel like i need a vacation...or just to go home.
at least gap today was entertaining...this cute shirt i have is now on sale, so i bought it in another color. shopping=therapy. victoria's secret is having its semi-annual sale as well, but i haven't gotten a chance to wander around the mall. frankly, i haven't had time to do anything besides work, eat and sleep.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

some of my neighbors have kids, and i'm starting to get really annoyed because every morning they're up at around 8am to play outside and make noise. so this of course wakes ME up at 8am, since i live on the first floor and can hear them outside my window. this is already aggravating — but to make it worse whenever i get up and get ready to go to work at 10am, they're gone! why on earth do these kids have to make so much noise at freakin 8am, and then dissappear afterwards?! why can't they come out to play at 10 or later?! it's like this curse on me, EVERY single morning is the same thing. i don't mind kids playing, especially since it's summer. i just don't understand why it seems like their schedule is just to annoy me. i'm about to the point where one morning i'll just open my window and yell for them to shut up, or play later.

i was sleepy earlier but now i'm not, and so i'm randomly thinking of different why i have such horrible cramps during the middle of the month. this new ring isn't all it's cracked up to be. or maybe i'm just being paranoid. i don't know. i don't know the difference between "mild cramps" as a side effect; or "severe abdominal pain" which requires immediate medical attention. so if i pass out all of a sudden, you'll know why.

as i was watching "the Hills" today, i thought about how realistic it would be for me to move to Cali. so i started looking at apartments to rent in los angeles, OC, san diego and santa barbara on craigslist. a studio in downtown LA is going for about $1300. wow. laguna was cheaper, you can live in OC for about $700 a room. and i don't know enough about SB or SD to know where's a good area, but you can find places for about $500. i always say i want to move to NYC, which i think i do. i know i'd love it, no doubt. but then again, LA really intrigues me because i love Rio so much, and LA is basically the Rio of America. except dotted with SUVs and highways. so basically, it's my dream: a mix between all i love of Rio with the benefits of living in the states.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

today's been a hard day. i talked to my father for a bit earlier but other than that, it's just been uneventful and upsetting. being away from family keeps getting harder and harder for me, especially on days like this where i should be celebrating it with the people that count. instead, it just passes by like any other day and i start missing everyone and everything that i don't have here. so i've been emotional and crying all day, which i hate but i think it's the BC again. it flips my mood around, which is crap cuz i don't know what to do anymore.
i'm also craving chocolate right now; i ate the rest i had and i'm too lazy to go out just for that.
the Mavs game is killing me right now...i hate overtime and i'm going to lose a lot of hope if Miami actually wins this. but seriously, both teams have to be really good to be so freakin close at this point.
i have a math test tommorow, which i haven't studied for yet...but i think i'll wait until tommorow morning. geometry is easy, but i need to memorize the tax and morgage problem formulas. i haaaate math so much.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

my mom called me from germany today. it was good to hear from her, i miss her. wow, some horrible band is on jay leno right now...eww.
random thoughts:
- math today was super boring, and there was some girl going off on something that had nothing to do math.
- i bought all my father's/ birthday stuff today and got to the post office 10 minutes too late.
- i can't seem to get my room completely organized.
- i'm going to start waking up some mornings and swimming some laps. i figure i can get sun AND exercise.
- the U.S. soccer players may suck, but some moral support would be uplifting. way to bash your players.
- i wish someone would do laundry for me.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

you know you're old when you can't party until 4am and wake up at 7am anymore....because, really, 3 hours of sleep is just NOT enough. how did i ever get through high school waking up hungover to cram for one hour before early morning tests? i dunno.
the server went down at work earlier tonight. again. that meant i got to hang around for a while, but it's alright because i got 13 hours of sleep last night, so i was doing fine. plus, i got to write some 'Tweekend briefs. aaand, we were watching the Mavs game, which was a little too much excitement for me to handle. j-memo to myself: i really wish i'd pay more attention to action in my leads. i really don't notice it until i get to edits, and i feel like it's a no-brainer which should be priority number one.
i skipped math class today to watch the brasil x croatia game today. we won 1-0. it was good, funny that Kaka made the only goal, but nothing spectacular. i do wish it was a bigger deal here. nothing like celebrating the world cup in Rio. sigh.
i DID wear flag colors skirt, yellow tank and all. plus i made a ghetto-looking flag colored with highliters to hang from my monitor :)
what would YOU ask the president of the University of Texas if you could ask him anything at all? that's what i'm debating.

Monday, June 12, 2006

instead of going to do something fun with my afternoon off, i came home and passed out for several hours. i guess i needed it. anyways, i also watched this special the food network was having on weddings where they catered this one couple's party. i had a typical girl realization: i want to be married. maybe what i really want is stability and, in my mind, that translates to a serious relationship. i don't know, but i know that i'm tired of drunk boys who need to get laid. just because i don't get wasted and stupid doesn't mean i don't want to have fun. i don't need people messing with me trying to get me to "loosen up." it's called personal space, and i think people at parties need to respect that. it's not just at parties; in general i let people push me around most of the time because i have a hard time standing up for myself. so i just want to seperate myself from all those things that make me feel crappy/annoyed. i think i'm stressed that regardless of how unfulfilling my relationships have been, i've always had amazing friendships to keep me sane. and now, even though i'm making good friends at work, i'm lacking the companionship i've always had. i have no roommates to come home to, nor do i have someone i can call anytime, just to do whatever. i love my work and right now i see no point in college if i'm already doing what i want. of course i don't want to quit, i still look forward to classes: i've just come to the realization that i'm ready to get on to the next phase of my life. each day i like austin more and more, but there's still a lot for me to discover here that will make me want to stay here long-term. i guess this is all a growing-up crisis. i miss the lazy days of summer, going to florida, waking up to my aunt making breakfast, family vacations, and everything about not having responsiblities. the funny thing is, i finally understand why my mother decided to move back to brasil after 12 years of living here: she never had time to stop and breathe. yeah, i complain about working, but i know i love it. i know she loves what she does as well, and i think about her working all day, but instead of being able to come home and rest, she still had to take care of four kids. and doing that without any family support is hard. i don't think i could handle that. i want my family around, and if that means going back to brasil, that's something i have to consider. eu tambem quero meu estilo de vida carioca, e isso ninguem aqui vai nunca entender. anyways, it's late and i want to watch the movie i rented.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

today has been kinda crazy...i ended up going in to work, instead of having a lazy morning at deep eddie's. i made a great mix playlist at work, only to find that our computers don't have burning capability. so basically i couldn't make a cd, and that reaaally frustrated me. but i think the photo office has super duper computers, so tommorow i'll see if i can sneak in there and make my cd so that i have decent music to play in my car.
i kidnapped the comfy chair from the other side of the office because no one was using it. it's super perfect except for it's huge and doesn't really fit at my desk. details.
after work i headed to the gap on lamar and purchased a bikini top for the lone bottom i bought a while back; cute underwear; even cuter halter top; and a white blouse. i was right next to central market and couldn't help but feel as though i needed something. when really i just wanted an excuse to go and wander among all the wonderful stuff. i love how central market is this huge maze of endless yummy treats. besides — and this may sound crazy — i love people-watching, and for some reason organic locations always attract the most interesting characters. i guess that's pretty obvious. but it really frustrates me how i'll go in and buy everything i need and look down to realize i'm holding milk, while everyone around me seems to be holding beer/wine. being underage and having no hook-ups really sucks. all i want is to be able to walk in and buy a bottle of wine, come home, cook dinner, and have a chill night. it's not like i plan on getting wasted every night and going for a drive; there should be a some maturity test you could pass and be able to buy alcohol at 18. i don't even walk through the wine section at central market because i don't want to be tempted.
now i'm home doing what i always do: watching tv, getting ready to make dinner. i can't seem to lose my habit of eating late. ooh, i just had a thought...i could go rent a movie, that would be good for a thursday night. i can't believe it's thursday, i keep losing track of days since it seems like everyday is the same. chega, estou morrendo de fome.

Friday, June 02, 2006

i'm sitting in my living room eating large amounts of chocolate, ready to go to bed after this episode of "modern girl's" is over. i had asparagus along with my rice pilaf for dinner. it was delicious. and that is my friday night. while i feel somewhat loser-ish, i'm glad i'm not out drinking my face off and getting wasted for no reason except that it's THE thing to do since i'm in college. besides, if i were to drink i would probably drunk dial, and we all know that's not a good idea.
i'm sad that he's not here, and that makes me upset because i was beyond that fase...i was already moving on to the "it's all for the better" fase: you know, where you make yourself see how bad things were, and that you're really better off being on your own. even if you love him, miss him, and wish his arm was around you when you fall asleep. yeah, i was doing alright...until he called and decides we need to talk - in person - because somehow in the past month he's had the realization that was missing in the past one and a half years. umm...okay. so then i'm back to loving you being here, driving all the way here to see me, and suddenly i'm back to being all mopey because you're all i think about once again. well, at least in between work and work and school. dammit, i'm a productive person; i have things to worry about, and that shouldn't include why we had an amazing weekend but still can't clarify what the hell this relationship is supposed to be. there's too much emphasis on our physical relationship, and that won't take this long distance situation very far. and maybe comfort is a part of it...but everytime i look at him, it's this giddy feeling of excitement you have with new love that never seems to fade. but i tell myself that it shouldn't be enough to justify all the instability and pain this all brings. love is a bitch. there was this quote i read and loved, that said basically that love isn't fair, because all it takes is for someone to catch you off gaurd with a simple smile, and then you lose all control and it's no longer in your hands...the power shifts to the other and they have the ability to rip your heart apart if they choose. that's how i feel: loss of control. and i HATE not being in control of my emotions.
today there was work and posse...and zach had to tell me that the funny weather on thursday was about me, because i didn't get it. i'm sort of clueless like that sometimes, so if someone writes or talks about me, most likely i won't realize unless you tell me. i'd call it being more oblivious than naive. anyhoo, i'm super excited about a project i'm working on now, though i'm not sure how it'll turn out :)
tommorow i work at the store. i'm stoked, because i haven't been in a while. it'll be good to see where everything has been moved to, and i'll feel lost because being away from gap for 5 days is like leaving for a month. i think il'l start taking the pill again, though i'm hesitant as to whether it's going to fuck with my emotions. or maybe i'll try the ring, because apparently it's all the new rage. we'll see. oh, and i'm all out of money.