La Mia Vita

randomness.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

I cleaned a little, but I still have to organize a stack of papers, and wash my sheets. I bought the cutest Easter card for my grandparents, but I can't find the picture I wanted to send along with it...I need to get on that, since I only have this week left.
I had a good day at work today, I learned a lot, and everyone was really nice. Everything's so fast paced, but it keeps me going. I work Friday night and most of Saturday, so there's no way I could make it to Arlington for Leyla's birthday. It's hard, wanting to be free to do things like go up there, but then again having to work. But I like working, and I'm glad I'm finally doing things for myself that I know will benefit me. Maybe this will sound terrible...I guess I'm always so insecure about my personal life, with not feeling validated or respected, that I throw myself into my professional life because I know I'm appreciated. When an editor tells me I did a good job on a story, it makes me want to write more and work to become better. Likewise, it's nice to hear you did a good job on a sale. It's motivating. Guys don't motivate me, I only get brought down. I had a guy tell me once that I was beautiful. I liked him, and he said it while looking into my eyes, in a way that hurt. I didn't believe him, though. I don't know if it was because I'd never heard it before, not even from the one person that mattered, and here he was saying it so openly; or because he was leaving. He couldn't possibly mean it. I don't get compliments like that from guys for free. The ones that say it don't know me enough to realize that it takes a lot of time and trust for me to actually believe it, or even accept it.
Shopping really IS therapy, I don't care what anyone says. I'm broke until the end of the week, but then I'll treat myself to some new jeans...I blame it on my job, and having to try on so many cute pairs that it's impossible to resist.
Grey's Anatomy repeats are enough to ruin my Sunday nights...is it too much to ask that they have new episodes, considering they get paid millions!?

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