La Mia Vita


Friday, March 31, 2006

There is nothing better to get my mind off life, than the Texan. It doesn't make sense, really, because I guess it is a part of my life, but it's like this little place to get away from everything. Spending the day there makes me focus on unexpected topics, and writing about said topics, which leaves little time to think beyond the basement. Actually, I think it's because it feels as if time goes by so fast there. Which is wonderful, because today I was there early, left at 10, and that makes one whole day where I was productive and didn't stress over any problems. And to add to the wonderfulness, I actually think I did pretty well on my J310 test. I kicked ass on that essay, because it was the one case I really studied. I felt pretty hyper today, and I think it's because I'm drinking coffee again...but I've started combining it with sweets. Today it was coffee and two Krispy Kreme's. So maybe I should hold back...or at least go slow. Too much coffee and me don't go well together.
If there was one thing I could say to the world right now, it would be: fuck it all. I'm so tired of bullshit, and of feeling like I don't know what's ahead. I just want to hide under my covers and wake up in 10 years. I'm tired of hurting, and letting myself feel this way. I want to not care. Actually, I don't really care. I always worry way too much about how others are affected by me, or whether I'm not hurting anyone. Well, now I want to care about me. Why should I put anyone before myself, if it only leads to me getting hurt?? And although right now being cold-hearted sounds fitting, it won't last long. But you know what? Life isn't fucking fair, that only becomes more and more clear, so right now I give myself the right to be bitchy and do as I please. I found my emo-punk-rock playlist: I'm in the mood for Taking Back Sunday, The Used, Blink, and Simple Plan. It feels like last year all over again...except infinitely worse.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

I LOOOOVE how Issac is so ADD, and how he can't pay attention to any guest for more than 30 seconds. He would be my celebrity best friend, he's amazing.